Trader Joe’s Essentials: Are We Okay? Edition

Quick exercise: think of all your favorite food items to make at home. Now think of all your favorite snacks. Now your favorite condiments. Now your favorite (not-expensive) wine. Now think of the place you would go to find all of these things. Let me guess: Trader Joe’s?

It’s not that you can’t find some of these delicious food items in your neighborhood market, but our realization in the last few years has been that if a food item is made or sold by Trader Joe’s it’s going to be good, and if it’s something you can buy anywhere, then the Trader Joe’s version is going to be better. We don’t know what kind of witchcraft or sorcery they use, but it’s the truth, and we are prepared to fight you if you disagree.

Trader Joe’s nails it: superior quality, low prices, great visuals, organized shelves, A+ marketing, and a constant stream of new original items. Because we are Trader Joe’s experts––nay, Trader Joe’s connoisseurs, we figured it was only fair to spread the knowledge. So we came up with an Are We Okay? Essentials list of items you need from Trader Joe’s. So here you have them:

PS: this is not a suggestion, this is an order. Go and buy all of these. And nope, they are not paying us to promote them, we are just passionate as hell. Let us be.

Must-Have Seasonings and Sauces

• Everything But The Bagel Seasoning

• Trader Joe's Trader Giotto's Bruschetta

• Carrot Ginger Miso Salad Dressing

• Green Goddess Salad Dressing

Dips and Spreads

• Cinnamon Bun Spread

• Speculoos Cookie Butter

• Speculoos Crunchy Cookie Butter

• Crunchy Almond Butter

• Mixed Nut Butter

• Cocoa Almond Spread

• Buffalo-Style Chicken Dip

• Chili Onion Crunch

• All. The. Hummus. ---- Special shoutouts: Kalamata Olive Hummus, Mediterranean Hummus, and Roasted Garlic Hummus.

Salty Snacks

• Pastry Bites with Feta and Caramelized Onion

• Fig and Olive Crisps

• Spinach and Artichoke Dip

• Seasoned Kale Chips

• All the nuts (cashews, pistachios, roasted almonds)

• Crunchy Mochi Bites

• Roasted Plantain Chips

• Oven-Baked Cheese Bites

• Organic Popcorn with Olive Oil

• World’s Puffiest White Cheddar Corn Puffs

Sweets and Desserts

• Just Mango Slices

• Chile Spiced Mango

• Chocolate Covered Banana Slices

• Sea Salt and Turbinado Sugar Dark Chocolate Almonds

• Chocolatey Coated Chocolate Chip Dunkers

• Hot Cocoa Dunkers

• Dark Chocolate Peanut Butter Cups

• Dark Chocolate Almond Butter Cups

• Rainbow’s End Trail Mix

• Milk Chocolate Covered Peanut Butter Pretzels

• Kunefe (seasonal)

• Hold the Cone! Mini Vanilla Ice Cream Cones

• Trader Joe's Coffee Bean Blast Ice Cream

• Chocolate Brooklyn Babka

• Chocolate Lava Cake

• Deep Dish Chocolate Chip Cookie

• Dress Circle Crispy Crunchy Chocolate Chip Cookies

Non-Frozen

• ALL THE CHEESES ---- Special shoutouts: Blueberry Vanilla Chevre, Cranberry Chevre and Spanish Cheese Tapas Sampler

• Oven Roasted Turkey Breast

• Broccoli and Kale Slaw Kit

• Mediterranean Style Salad Kit

• Mango Jicama Slaw

• Mexican Style Corn and Quinoa Salad

• All the varieties of the Brown Rice and Quinoa pasta (fusilli, spaghetti, and especially the mini elbows)

• Dolmas Vine Leaves

The Best Frozen Aisle In The World

• Peruvian Style Chimichurri Rice

• Vegetable Gyozas

• Chicken Gyozas Potstickers

• Shakshuka Starter

• Broccoli and Kale Pizza Crust

• Cauliflower Pizza Crust

• Kale Gnocchi

• Cauliflower Gnocchi (don’t add water into the pan, or just air fry them)

• Sweet Potato Gnocchi with Butter & Sage (TJ’s made a deal with Satan for these)

• Outside-in Stuffed Gnocchi

• Frozen Chocolate Croissants

• Frozen Almond Croissants

• Mandarin Orange Chicken

• Chicken Tikka Masala

• 5 Cheese Greek Spiral

Beverages

• Organic Ginger Turmeric Herbal Tea

• Non-Dairy Oat Beverage

• ALL THE WINE

Pro tip: if you are feeling cheap, try their $2.99 bottle of wine, not bad at all.

If you’re anything like us, and we know you are, Trader Joe’s is your love language. You don’t go just to shop, you go for the experience.

Everyone is happy to see you, there are samples and pairing suggestions, everything is $3.99, you find everything you were looking for, and 8-10 new things you didn’t know existed but are absolutely necessary (and Betsy your cashier just told you you made the right call in getting them because she "just tried them and they’re amazing!"). You enter with problems, and leave feeling light as feather, even though you’re carrying eight bags of gnocchi.

So, there you have it, the perfect grocery shopping list for your next trip to the only grocery store that matters. You’re welcome.